


Not Like This

by eddieregretti



Series: Reddie One Shots [2]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Pining, Swearing, Teenagers, Underage Drinking, and then Feelings tm happen, anyway i think im actually proud of this, bev knows, idk they have a party and its fun, its cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 09:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15927350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eddieregretti/pseuds/eddieregretti
Summary: “Remember, you have thirty seconds to complete this. I dare the two of you...” Bev announces loudly. “to kiss.”Eddie just wants to win this stupid game. He really doesn’t want to chug another beer and he also happens to really want to kiss his teammate.(or Mike throws a party and Eddie just wants to have his first kiss.)





	Not Like This

Eddie Kaspbrak doesn’t go to parties often. This is partially because he doesn’t get invited to parties, but mostly because he would never attend one without having someone to leech onto. If he has Bill, or Ben, or Richie there to latch himself onto the whole night, he ends up having a lot of fun because he feels more secure. More confident.

That’s why when Mike is the one to host the after party of one of their school’s football games, Eddie is through the roof excited. It’s a house he knows like the back of his hand, and all six of his best friends will be there to have fun with. It's perfect.

 _Things happen at high school parties,_  the little voice in the back of his mind reminds him. _People get drunk and make regrettable decisions. They get clingy towards anyone that will show them attention and kiss the wrong people. You never know what will happen in a house filled with a hundred intoxicated teenagers._

He knows it’s stupid to actually think that someone, _anyone_ , in their haze of drunken poor decision making, might look at Eddie and think: _You know what? I’ve never kissed a short, asthmatic, probably queer kid. I guess it’s about time I do._  That really isn’t what a first kiss should be, but when you’re 17 and still a lip virgin (and Richie once put it), you get pretty desperate. 

The last party Eddie went to was a couple months ago and he swears he won’t make the same mistakes this time. He got blackout drunk, cried to Bev about how lonely he was, and then tried to kiss Greta Bowie before throwing up in the kitchen sink. The memory makes him want to hurl all over again. Never again would he drink straight vodka all night.

“Not straight vodka, that’s for sure.” is what he says when Stan asks him what he plans on bringing to drink tonight. The seven friends sit at their lunch table as Eddie experimentally pokes at his ham sandwich. Stan asks because he wants to bring his favourite creamsicle coolers but doesn’t want to get made fun of for having a 13 year old girl’s drink while everyone else does tequila shots.

“Can you even sneak alcohol past your mom, Eddie?” Ben asks. “My mom would know right away if I was trying to hide a bottle of liquor from her.” This is less a statement of Mrs. Hanscom’s observation skills and more a comment on Ben’s lack of experience. He’s the group’s designated driver and always has been. It’s perfect, really, because he doesn’t like drinking and he cares a lot about the safety of his friends. Tonight, he won’t have to stress because the six of them are staying over at Mike’s.

“Don’t worry about my little Eddie Spaghetti. I’ve got him covered.” Richie cuts in causing Eddie to glance at him with an unimpressed look. He wants to correct him on the nickname, but there’s something about the way that Richie winks with a cheeky smile that halts his train of thought altogether. He has a way of looking so intensely at Eddie that he feels like they’re the only two in the school cafeteria. Or the only two in the whole fucking universe.

Later that night, Eddie finds himself at the football game sitting between Stan and Richie, his ass is numb from being on the hard bleachers for too long and he’s wishing he wore a warmer sweater than the thin yellow crewneck he has on.

“It’s cold as balls.” Richie comments and wraps his denim jacket tighter around himself. Eddie doesn’t understand why he doesn’t just button the jacket up if he’s so cold, but supposes it must be for fashion.

Beverly laughs from the step down directly in front of them,  her head leaning on Richie’s knee. “Yeah, I don't know how Mike has bare arms and isn’t freezing his ass off on that field.”

Eddie hardly listens, instead watches the way Bev leans in closer to Ben. His hand is resting lightly on her knee and their shoulders are pressed together tightly. It all makes Eddie feel incredibly jealous.

“But thank God he is! I mean, look at those delicious arms.” Richie exclaims loud enough for other students to turn their heads in his direction, but it doesn’t break his confidence in the slightest. “Stanley! Look at that man and tell me you haven’t popped a boner yet!”

Eddie can’t help but snort out a laugh. Stan is sitting forward and leaning like he thinks the game is really interesting and Richie doesn’t exist. Then Eddie notices the distance between Stan and himself and it feels like miles compared to Bev and Ben in front of them. It’s like Eddie is in a box where no one can get in his personal space and he doesn’t like it. Is it so much to ask that one of his friends hold his hand or lean their head on his shoulder? He wants someone to be close to him. It doesn’t have to be romantic or sexual, he's simply longing to be grounded by physical contact.

He can feel his mood drop and decides to do something about it, slowly shifting closer to Richie and hoping he won’t notice. He doesn’t seem to until their thighs are touching and he gives Eddie a side glance with his lip upturned.

“You cold, Eds?” he whispers, his breath visible in the crisp air. Eddie shivers.

/No, I just wanted to be close to you./ he thinks but knows Richie would never let that go, so he settles on a gentle nod instead. Richie’s smile grows instantly and he throws an arm around his friend’s shoulder, tugging him closer until Eddie’s back is up against his chest.

He thinks Richie will pull away, but he stays right there for a few minutes and it’s just  _s_ _o_  nice. Eyes closed, Eddie leans further into Richie, and his knee digs into Richie's thigh, right next to a tear in his black jeans. Richie's chest is warm against his back and his fingers dig into Eddie's sweater. Feeling the hot breath on his neck, he tries hard to ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach. It’s a cozy nervousness and he can’t help but want more, but he doesn’t know what he wants more of.

“Fuck yeah! We did it!” Richie suddenly shouts, jolting Eddie away from him when he shoots up and starts jumping on the spot. Stan is up and clapping, too, with an excited smile on his face and Eddie doesn’t know why until he focuses back on the field. The game is over and they won.

“Jesus, Tozier. Didn’t know you were so passionate about football.” Bill scoffs.

Richie is still clapping and cheering loudly when his reply comes. “Couldn’t give less of a fuck, Big Bill. I’m happy it’s over because now I can get shitfaced! Woo! Yes, Hanlon!”

Ben and Bev share a giggle and join in on the over exaggerated cheering while Eddie smiles fondly up at Richie.

 

 

Mike is the first player to come out of the locker room after the game. Eddie looks him up and down in his tight black t-shirt and loose jeans. It takes his breath away a little bit and he wonders why Mike gets to be so muscular and good-looking, but gentle and confident at the same time.

“Great game, man!” Ben says when he walks towards the group. They make their way to Ben’s mini-van where they all pile in, meanwhile Richie blabs on with a horrible impression of a sports announcer. He doesn’t know jack shit about football, so the impression basically starts and ends with. “The team sports’d pretty hard out there, boys, and it sure paid off, I say! Our very own young Michael Hanlon, voted M-V-P for his ass in those pants alone!” 

“Thanks, Honey.” Mike replies, stopping in his tracks to strike a dramatic pose and wink at Richie, who whistles excitedly.

Eddie finds himself in the backseat with Mike and Bill and cringes when Bev turns the radio up loud enough to feel the bass.

“Thanks for coming out, guys! And Trashmouth, permission to compliment my ass whenever you’d like granted.” Mike exclaims happily. He’s always so hyped and full of energy after a game and Eddie loves witnessing his high.

“I’m excited for the party. I could use a drink.” Eddie mumbles to Bill alone, who nods in agreement.

“Everyone, shut up! This is a good song!” Bev starts singing along to Tears For Fears and a couple of them join in. Eddie focuses his eyes out the window. It’s dark, but he can make out shadows of passing trees and houses. 

They all share a laugh at Richie’s expense when his voice noticeably cracks trying to belt out a high note and that’s his cue to stop trying. “Those weren’t even the right lyrics, idiot.” Stan chuckles.

 

 

It takes approximately half an hour for the party to get full swing. Students filter into Mike’s house and scatter around the property outside too. Some people get a bonfire going near the barn, others are just messing around in the backyard, a large group has a game of beer pong set up in the dining room, and the kitchen is filled with snacks. (Ben even made some pogos for when Bev gets the munchies.) Eddie is having a lot of fun because he doesn’t feel awkward in this house he knows so well. As soon has everything is set up and others arrive, Eddie hears Richie beckoning him from three rooms away.

“What do ya want to drink, Spaghetti?” he asks when Eddie stands next to him at the kitchen counter. “I’ve got rum that you can drink alone, or mix with coke. Bev brought wine, if you’re classy like her. Aaaand I also have a few coolers in case you have a sweet tooth.”

Eddie ends up with a wine glass (because he’s classy) full of rum and coke (because he doesn’t actually like the taste of wine) in hand. Richie isn’t the greatest at mixing drinks, so it ends up being a lot stronger than he would’ve liked, but he’s not complaining.

Over an hour and three drinks in, Eddie is feeling it. He’s loud, clumsy, chatty, and touchy but he certainly isn’t the only one who’s drunk already. 

“I can fff-feel it, Stan. Th-this is the one! C’mon!” Bill laughs over Stan’s shoulder. They’re playing beer pong against two girls who are in Eddie’s science class and they’re losing by a lot.

Stan throws the ball, completely missing the table altogether. “Trick shot!” he yells a lot louder than he needs to and smiles like he’s a pro at this game. For his trick shot, he raises his leg up high, and throws under his knee. He crashes into Bill when he loses his balance, almost falling right over, but the ball manages to land in a cup.

“You did it!” Bill screams and they hug like they won the game when in reality they still have five cups to sink.

“Good job, Stan. You’re my hero.” Eddie claps his back and gives him a thumbs up before leaving the room.

He searches for Richie to mix him a fourth drink, but eventually decides he can do it himself because he's a strong independent woman. He stands at the kitchen counter and stares into his glass, mumbling along to the song playing from the other room.

“Ah, Master Kaspbrak.” he hears a snooty butler voice from behind him. “How may I be of assistance to you on this fine night?”

Eddie whips around, not noticing the painful grin on his face when he sees Richie.

“Rich!” he yells, a lot louder than he needs to. He tugs him closer and shoves the wine glass in his face. “I would like another one of these things if I could... good sir.”

“Sure thing.” Richie laughs as he takes it from his hands, acting normal now. Well, not normal, but Normal Richie.

Eddie stares blankly, watching as Richie pours a clear rum in and then opens a can of coke from the fridge. He dances to the music as he makes the drink and it makes Eddie giggle.

“Voila!” he hands the glass over. “Mixed with lots-o-love!”

Eddie thinks it’s the alcohol kicking in when he feels fuzzy butterflies in his stomach and he ignores the feeling when Richie doesn’t move his hand away from where it brushes against Eddie’s.

There’s a loud group shout from the next room that they both ignore completely. Eddie looks up, eyes wide, mouth open, into blue eyes. Whenever he drinks he starts breathing through his mouth, and he doesn’t know why. Maybe it has something to do with his asthma. He notices that Richie is breathing normally. His mouth is closed, but he can still smell the weed on his clothes. He hates the smell, if he’s honest. It’s always given him a headache, but for some reason he leans in closer and closer.

“Are you having fun tonight?” Richie asks and it’s a lot quieter than before. He pushes his glasses up on his nose and laughs when Eddie doesn’t answer the question.

Eddie is dizzy. His head spins and he feels like he doesn’t have his feet firmly planted on the ground but he doesn’t move either. He puts his drink on the counter and stares at his friend. At the way the light above them makes a weird shadow under his nose, but lights up the rest of his face beautifully. Richie licks his lips and Eddie can’t seem to look away from them now. They’re chapped beyond belief but they’re red like he’s been biting down on them and the only thought in Eddie’s mind is to _kiss him. Kiss him right now._

It’s a crazy thought, but it’s even crazier that he listens. He thinks about how _fucking great_  it would be. Richie has a huge mouth and a silver tongue - that’s gotta translate to kissing too. He’s craving it. He leans up on his toes and his hands push on Richie’s chest and he’s inching closer, closer-

“You okay, P’skehtti?” Richie breaks the moment like he has no idea what’s swarming Eddie’s mind. He doesn’t move back, but places his arms around Eddie’s back and holds him. Eddie feels like he’s on a cloud.

“Yeah. I’m great.” he nods. “All’s good in the... hood.”

All at once, Richie’s nose scrunches up, his eyes crinkle from smiling so wide and he snorts. Eddie kind of wishes he could rewind and play that split second over and over for the rest of his life. He feels Richie’s arms squeeze tighter around him in a half hug, their foreheads almost touching.

“Good in the hood, eh?” He says lowly. “Me thinks Eddie Kaspbrak is a little drunk.”

Eddie wants to respond, but finds no words because of the warmth in their proximity. Instead, he smiles a dopey smile and nods a little. It disappears as soon as Richie pulls away from him completely.

“Tozier! We need two more for this game, get over here!” A voice, which undeniably belongs to Beverly Marsh, shouts from the other room. Then Eddie’s hand is being grabbed and his new drink is completely forgotten on the counter.

“Yes, ma’am!”

 

 

“Okay, so it’s called Fear Pong. Same rules as Beer Pong, but there’s a challenge under every cup. Some are bad for you, some are bad for your opponent. If it’s bad for you, you can opt to chug instead. Sound good?” Bev explains and Ben stands next to her, swaying side to side to the music. He’s definitely had a bit to drink. Richie stands with Eddie on the other side of the table.

“Yeah!” Eddie yells, throwing his arms in the air before bringing one dwon to grab Richie's shoulder next to him. _Hm, muscular_. “Okay, Chee. We gotta fucken’ win this.” He knows he sounds kind of ridiculous. This may be the first time he’s used that nickname to Richie’s face, but he’s too busy to see the reaction he may get.

Sure enough, Ben is a lot better at Beer Pong than he leads on. Richie and Eddie are behind a little bit, but that doesn’t deter their confidence.

“Be the ball, man!” Eddie shouts as he watches his partner toss the ball and miss the table completely. “What the hell was that? Be the ball, dumbass!”

The two of them are laughing uncontrollably and Eddie subtly (he thinks) leans in towards Richie’s chest. There is a brief moment where Richie ducks his head and curls tickle at his forehead and it’s the greatest feeling ever. The two boys are so focused on their own side of the table that they hardly notice Bev sink another ball. Richie scoffs dramatically and lifts the cup to reveal no dare.

“Do you wanna chug it, or should I?” he offers, looking at Eddie over his glasses as he dramatically holds up the red plastic.

“Half it?” Eddie suggests.

Richie brings it to his lips and gulps it down. Eddie’s eyes are wide, watching his friend’s neck stretch back and his throat bob when he swallows. Some of the liquid spills over the cup and drips down the side of his mouth, causing him to stop and wipe the beer away. Eddie licks his lips.

 _You’re staring, creep. Cut it out._  he thinks, picking up a ball up from the table to come out of his trance and takes the cup from Richie. He gulps down the rest of the beer while he carelessly tosses the ping pong ball across the table.

“Yesss!” Richie cheers after the sound of a splash in one of Bev and Ben’s cups. Bev lifts the cup and her boyfriend picks up the paper underneath to read it out:

“Your opponents complete a dare of _your_  choosing in thirty seconds.”

Bev seems to already have something in mind when she leans over to whisper in his ear. A smile breaks out on his face and he nods.

“Remember, you have thirty seconds to complete this. I dare the two of you...” Bev announces loudly. “to kiss.”

Eddie just wants to win this stupid game. He really doesn’t want to chug another beer and he also happens to really want to kiss his teammate. Ready to get down to business, he turns to Richie, but he clearly doesn’t match Eddie’s enthusiasm and the expression he sports breaks his confidence a little. Richie’s smile has fallen. He pushes up his glasses and looks at Eddie like he’s concerned.

“Let’s chug it, Eds.” He’s quiet now, almost mumbling his words like he’s embarrassed to even be talking to him right now. _Ouch._

Eddie huffs a laugh, although he doesn’t find anything here funny. “Are you serious? It’s so much easier, let’s just kiss.” 

He doesn’t want to sound desperate, he really doesn’t, but this may be his only opportunity to _kiss The Richie Tozier_  so he’s not going to throw it away. (Plus, if he chugs another beer he might just up-chuck.)

“No, I-“

“What? Am I that repulsive?” the words fall out of Eddie's mouth before he can think them over.

Richie licks his lips and shakes his head. “Of course not, I just-“

“Fifteen seconds!” Bev’s voice rings.

“Come on, Rich. It’s, like, two seconds of your life. Just kiss me!” Eddie can’t help but shout now, but Richie’s voice stays low.

“No, Eds-“

“Do it, just kiss me!”

“Not like _this_!” Richie surprises all of them by yelling and it takes Eddie a second to process the words.

By the time his mind finally registers what’s happening, Richie is rushing out of the room. 

 _Not like this?_  he wonders. _What the fuck does that mean?_

Staring into space, drowning out the sounds of the people around him, Eddie thinks. Well, he tries to think. He doesn’t really understand what just happened here and he’s probably too drunk to fix whatever it was that made Richie storm off so abruptly. Through their whole friendship, Eddie has never seen Richie lose his temper over nothing. It’s like the sheer thought of kissing Eddie repulses him enough for him to yell and run away as fast as he can.

If that doesn’t make Eddie want to break down in tears right here in Mike’s living room, he doesn’t know what will.

Suddenly, Ben is speaking. “You should go after him, Eddie.” It pulls Eddie out of his mind and his glance snaps to his friends. Ben looks apologetic or at least sympathetic, while Bev looks surprisingly thrilled. She’s smirking like she’s in on some secret that no one else knows. It makes Eddie wonder if she just witnessed the same things they did.

“Right.” He turns around and begins to push through groups of people in the same direction Richie left in. He asks a few people if they have seen Richie and one girl points towards the front door. The thought that Richie might have started to walk home worries Eddie. It’s late and dark out and it would be a long trek to town, let alone Richie’s house on the other side of town. The six friends had planned to sleep here tonight and head back in the morning. Surely Richie isn’t so upset that he can’t stay overnight.

Cold air hits Eddie when he steps onto the front porch. He looks around the yard and his eye catches Richie’s loud, checkered shirt where he is standing under a tree. He doesn’t notice Eddie as he walks over to him, instead he lets out a stressful sigh and lights up a cigarette.

When Eddie finally approaches him, he doesn’t know what to say. He wishes he were sober because then he would probably know what to do, how to cheer Richie up, but right now he’s searching for any words at all.

“I, uh...” He starts, startling Richie and meeting his eyes for a brief moment. “I think we lost the game.”

It’s meant to be a joke, but only silence follows. Richie sucks on his cigarette and blows the smoke in the opposite direction, so Eddie won’t breathe it in.

“Bev will be so happy.” he mumbles and sits down on the grass, his back against the tree. Eddie shifts where he’s standing, considering his next attempt at a conversation. Instead he sits down next to Richie. The grass is a lot colder than the air and even a little bit wet but he hardly notices. His mind is racing in the uncomfortable silence between the two. He doesn’t know when the tension appeared between them, but he really doesn’t like it.

“ _Not like this._ “ Eddie whispers. “What did you mean by that?” There is a feeling in his chest that he could only describe as anxious for Richie’s response, longing for the sense of comfort that usually comes from being near Richie. 

He leans in and hopes it will go unnoticed because it’s pretty cold out despite the alcohol running through his body. Richie notices, his head turns and he meets Eddie’s eyes.

“Eddie,” a long pause. “I, fuck. I can’t do this right now.”

Eddie is ready to listen to whatever he has to say, but that doesn’t sound so good. _What the fuck does that mean? He can’t even stand to talk to me now?_

“Can't do what?” he hears his voice crack and clears his throat. The way Richie is looking at him like he’s deeply considering something makes Eddie feel vulnerable. He doesn’t love that.

Eventually, he says something. Three words. It’s not much, but its better than silence. “Eddie, you’re drunk.”

“Yeah... and?” he scoffs. “I don’t see the problem here.”

“The problem is you’re drunk and you’ve never been kissed.” Something clicks in Eddie’s mind at that.

“So? I don’t care about mushy stuff, like having a special first kiss to remember for the rest of my life. It’s stupid. I think it’s entirely my decision how I want my first kiss to be. And my decision is: I don’t care!” he explains. He can hear himself jumbling words together and slurring.

“Well I do care!” Richie snaps, almost causing Eddie to jump. His mind can’t process whatever it is that Richie is on about. “Or... I care how your first kiss with /me/ is. And I don’t want it to be during a game of beer pong while you’re too wasted to remember it...”

He isn’t looking at Eddie anymore, instead his head is tilted up towards the branches above them but it’s too dark out to see more than a shadow. Eddie is stunned and really wishes he didn’t drink all that beer.

He sits still and minutes pass as silence falls between them, although he wouldn’t be surprised if Richie could hear how loud his thoughts are. The music thumps inside the house, one song ends and another begins, as Eddie picks and tears apart blades of grass. After a lifetime, Richie breaks the silence.

“Eds, I have to tell you this. I’ve spent ages over the past few years picturing how this would go. I mean- I never imagined it would go down like this, but you need to know now, okay?” he says evenly and gently, like he’s speaking to a child. A tingling feeling settles in Eddie’s stomach and he knows it’s not because of the alcohol. He nods for Richie to continue.

“You’re my best friend and I love you. I love you like _friends_ love each other, but I also...” he sighs. “I also really _like_ you, in the not-friend-way. And I’m sorry if that makes things awkward, but- fuck, I’m so nervous right now-“

Eddie thinks he might be dreaming but, no, this is real. Richie is real and he’s right here putting Eddie’s feelings into words, so Eddie leans close and kisses his cheek. 

“I like you, too. In the not-friend-way.” he whispers and closes his eyes when Richie turns his head so their heads are pushing against each other. Just like that the tension is gone and replaced with some kind of giddy feeling between them. Eddie can feel Richie’s smile and he thinks he could just sit here all night if it wasn’t so cold out.

"So, you wanna be... Not-friends?" Richie whispers and his smile grows.

"I would love to be your not-friend."

And  _jesus,_ he wants to kiss Richie right now but he can't because it means something now. It  _should_ be special, so they'll wait until a perfect moment. They have all the time in the world.

Suddenly Eddie can't seem to keep his eyes open, no matter how hard he tries.

“I’m fucking exhausted, do you wanna go to bed?” he asks and abruptly stands up to start walking toward the house without waiting for a response.

“Woah, woah, Spaghetti.” Richie catches up to him and tugs on his arm. “At least buy me dinner first.”

 _There’s his Trashmouth._  Eddie smiles and reaches for the hand that’s tugging on his sweater and laces their fingers together. They walk up the porch steps and into the house.

“Shut up, Richard. How about I buy you a coffee in the morning instead?” 

“Ooh la-la! My very own sugar daddy!” Richie exclaims dramatically, receiving a punch in the arm. People give them strange looks, but they’re ignored. “By the way, Edward Spaghedward, it was very cute earlier when you called me Chee. Made my heart feel some type of way.”

“Okay, Chee. Let’s check on our friends and then go sleep upstairs.” Eddie says, already looking around for Mike, Bill, or Stan.

Richie laughs and leans in to whisper in his ear. “Only if I can share your sleeping bag, Kaspbrak."

After hitting Richie's arm, Eddie thinks about how he really likes this. Maybe he should go to parties more often.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading pals. my tumblr is @ eddieregretti if u wanna send prompts / be friends / talk about our lord and savior mike hanlon's arms.


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